The Benign Malignant Man

crush

2010-06-05T08:55:00.000-07:00

I hung up the phone tonight

Something happened for the first time deep inside

It was a rush, what a rush

'Cause the possibility

That you would ever feel the same way about me

It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?

All I ever think about is you

You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized

And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone

All that we can be, where this thing can go?

Am I crazy or falling in love?

Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?

Are you holding back like the way I do?

'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away

But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Has it ever crossed your mind

When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?

Is there more, is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take

'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last

Last forever, forever

p/s: a song that hit me lately..

A special friend

2010-05-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

“幸福就是当我看不到你时,可以这么安慰自己:能这样静静想你,就已经很好了”

30 May 2010-Sunny. Time flies, without even noticing it, I am now in final year. Unbelievable? Believe it. 4 years ago, I was still a naif little freshman entering Ukm Medical School. During the first week, in the MMM, in the UKM Bangi gigantic hall, i saw this little girl standing out from the crowd with her long silky hair shinning at me. I couldn't take my eyes off her big gorgeous eyes and rosy pink cheeks even 0.01 second. I was like WOW!!!

Unfortunately, we were in different course. Sigh, it's kind of impossible to know her as i will not stay in Ukm main campus for my entire course. There is a saying: Ukm medical student will only come to UKM Bangi for two times: MMM in first year & Convo in final year. It is quite true.

Despair was the only word that can describe my feelings at that moment. Maybe, “幸福就是当我看不到你时,可以这么安慰自己:能这样静静想你,就已经很好了”.

However, after three years, on a special occasion, i have the chance to know her. It was like in the fairy tale where the beast found the beauty. I added her msn. So, basically, we are so-called online friend. We have our own life in different corner of this world, but internet connects me & her (a special friend) Pheww...at last i come back to the title, sorry for circumstantiality.hahaha...

Lately, i got to know that she was very depressed. I truely hope that she will recover soon^^.

love at first sight

2009-07-31T08:25:00.000-07:00

31-July.HOT. Though i have left this blog for so looonnnnggg, I still haven decide to close this blog as it recorded some parts of my life. From the nuffnang's analysis, the visitors for this blog is getting less and less each day. huhuhu...so pity.

After so many years, i found her. She looks exactly like my first love---which i fail to make end meets. Sometime, i thought am i trying to find someone to replace the first one? or just this is the type of girl i like? However, uncertainties remained....

Before entering psychiatry posting (or in layman term ward for crazy people), I thought i have antisocial personality, but in fact, its all wrong. Antisocial Persanality disorder is related to social rules or right violation.

Now, i diagnosed myself as having schizoid personality disorder--a person who doesnt enjoy close relationship, lack of close friends, take pleasure in few activities, chooses solitary activity, emotional coldness....but i think i might have bias, but my friend said when he memorize the criteria for this personality disorder, he think about me.haha...

So, a schizoid person will always be uncertain in close relationship. hmmm...mayb if that girl take the first step,keke..it will be easier for me. I know i think too much la, but love is always like this...

Someone asked me what are ur uncertainties? it would be how much time i can spend with her. then, she say: y u wan2hav gf if u don hav the time?

yeah, tat's a good question. the answer is, at this age, sometime u get peer pressure from friends though all my housemate were single.keke..

Any advice? lets round the table...=.="

when inefficiency meets high efficiency

2009-06-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

11-JUNE. Hazy. Since three days ago, i have this recurrent rhinitis...haiz...the first time was three weeks ago when i finished my ENT posting. Great!!!after each posting must get sick...is it a punishment for getting to close to the patient. if u have never been examined by an ophthalmoscope, u would never know how close v are to the patient. its really like less than 1cm before u kiss the patient. SO, i think i actually contract virus or bacteria from the patient. pity me...(dont get the kiss,but the virus =.=""")

THerefore, I went to Klinik Warga this morning. WArga means it is a clinic for UKM-mers. After registration, i walk over and i saw a middle age woman smiling at me. She looks familiar, but her smile had actually confused me...Who is she?with a bunch of children?shudn't be my lecturer( i.e lecturer are all registrar if not specialist, they can treat themselves) ?coursemate won't be so old? secondary school teacher? (i.e. wont come2KL and become UKM-mer gua)...She greeted me:" kenapa jumpa doktor?"

I pointed at my nose indicating rhinitis. She replied softly which i cant really hear.

"huh??" i asked.

she said again: "**#%$*"...still cant hear her, but sounds like "el-nino"...question marks in my mind. y a long-time-no-c woman tell me about el-nino.

I "huh??" again to confirm.

Now...she show her real malignant face which makes me really remember her: "sayer kata RUNNING NOSE???!!"

hahaha...really sound alike right? runningnose and elnino.

So, she is our beloved midwife. its only a year, and i have forgotten her. Maybe this is a self-protective mechanism in which i subconsciously delete unhappy memories from my brain.

then it took me 1.5 hour waiting...its really a long 1...no wonder evrytime in the our clinic many patients come in with bad mood. This is because the system is a bit weird. I wait for my number 2024 to be called and the current number is 2019. As if 5 more to go, but its not true.

There are two rooms and one doctor in each room. After you register, they will send ur file to one of the two room. THis depends on your luck. Meaning the number will move like tis 2019,2016,2020,2022,2017,2025,2027,2028,2018....

If you notice the sequence, its quite clear that one doctor is slow while another 1 is very fast. SOmetimes, we also met patients that complain that why other patient who came late get to see the doctor first. Usually, the PK will say something like" belum lagi,sila tunggu di luar dulu"

I found that it was really frustrating to see the number increasing and getting further away from your number. Even though i know the system, i also feel so frustrated, how about those who dont understand???

After seeing the doctor, i went to the pharmacy which is at the other end of the hospital, maybe like 150meter. 40 patients to go before my turn to get my medicine. Waited for around 20 patients, then my number suddenly popped out on the screen. Wow, maybe im medical student, got the privillege.

"encik, sila check dengan klinik warga, saya rasa Doktor itu tidak key in dengan betul, komputer kami tak dapat prescription" the pharmacy told me.

ok, no privillege, but another problem. rush back like 150m sprint as i dont want to miss my number at the pharmacy.

"ohh..dr baru saja key in" the clerk told me with a relax voice as if its routine for us to sprint back and fro...i sprint back to the pharmacy, and luckily i can still use the old number.

THis is the problem when somebody who is inefficient meets somebody who is highly efficient. then i became the victim....The end...

please give me a chance

2009-06-04T16:36:00.001-07:00

5 June 2009. SUNNY. THough during the clinical orientation for juniors, i have told them over and over again regarding the importance of learning from the patients, sometimes the patients' reaction really make you down.

"Junior doctor", " Student Doctor", " Young Doctor" are some of the words our lecturer usually use to introduce us to the patients. Why don't they just use "medical student" or "pelajar perubatan"?

Because these patients are somehow selective. They want to be seen by real doctors with license.
THeir body is just more precious than diamonds and their mouths were sealed by gold. THey won't let medical student examine or take history.

THey think that the present doctors that they are seeing now are born as doctors. THey doesn't undergo training, they have never been medical students before. THey born naturally and gifted with skills to clerk history, to examine, then to treat, and to operate. In other words, medical student will be medical student for ever. Doctors will be doctors for ever. And, we can wait in O&G labour room for babies that will be born as doctors for the future. Once a baby is born, we dont test for Apgar score, but we test their medical knowledge. Ok, pass, u r a doctor. Sorry, fail, u will be trained as medical student and will suffer and face difficult patients...so unfair!!!haha...then if im parents i'll pray days and nights to deliver a Doctor Baby.

We always ask politely for permission, but what we get in return? Why cant you all say something politely like "no thanks" and not giving us an angry face as if i killed your whole family. or " No needla, ur prof also dunno what's my problem, how can you know?". " No, tq" just two words, is it that difficult to say??

I admit that medical students make mistake, we might not be so fluent, but we learn from mistakes and we practise to do better. Dear patients,pleaseeeeeeeeee......give me a chance...

with great power comes great responsibilities

2009-06-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

4June09-Its 1130pm and im still here writing blog. Is it just too free to have Triad posting or Im trying to freed myself from the suffocating buziness??? As a medical student, we were always told to study hard, so that we can take up the responsibility as a competent doctor.

{Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: "With great power comes great responsibility." This is my gift, my curse. Who am I? I'm Spider-man. }

In the past, for so many years, I really loved this quote as i thought i am very good, and i really have the responsibility to save the patients' life, save the nation, the world, then the universe.

But, lately, I found that, sometimes, these responsibilities actually are so troublesome...Besides being a medical student, Im somebody's son, somebody's coursemate, somebody's friend, somebody's msn fren, somebody's somebody...

Like my fren said: "friends are juz friends". Nobody actually owe nobody anything. Sometimes, it doesnt mean that, once a friend, forever a friend. And, once a friend, forever, wherever, whenever need2do whatever thing together. Its juzt a coincident that u and I meet at this present moment and we have the same interest. THen, its always better to do things together since we are on the same tract. BUt, I won't blame u if u refuse to join me as like i said earlier, u dont owe me anything.

So, now u think im very cold blooded is it?? haha... Whatever (imitating someone)

In short, this post is directed to all my long lost friend who feels very miserable for not keeping in touch with me for such a long time. haha...i doubt if there is any. But what im trying to say is that dont feel so bad about it as one day we might get back to each other sharing the same interest and same destination. For the moment, all the best to you and God bless u.

last night

2009-05-29T05:15:00.000-07:00

28 May.Moody. I have been quite loss and lazy lately. Dunno why like loosing my momentum in life. But dont worry i wont commit suicide cos im still young. Maybe, Im a bit bored with all the old things here and I need something new and fresh.

Last night was terrible as i had a nightmare. THe dream started in a university setting where i was suddenly told to attend an exam for all four posting. THere was no study week and it was in the middle of a posting we were asked to go to faculty to have exam.

THen, i took a school bus to the fac. It was the bus uncle that took me for my entire high school life. I thought he was quite good and know almost every single road in my hometown. He promised to send me to HUKM after he sent a little kid back. I thought it was going to be fine since i hav sufficient time.

Who knows?? He lost his way. It took him an hour to beat around that area and still cannot find the little kid's house. Great!!! Okla, my brain is a bit disorientated in dream world la, i.e. how can a bus uncle who never drive in KL send a kid home in KL and send me to HUKM???haha..

THen, at last with the help of my GPS. He succeeded. But it also mean i would be late for my exam.

The faculty have a new exam system. Meaning after you finish the paper for all 4 posting in 1 day, the lecturers will straight away mark the paper. Wow, so efficient!!!

THose who pass can go home. THose who fail must stay back that day and straight away retake the exam. Unfortunately, when i reached there, those who failed are retaking their papers ady. So, meaning i didnt sit for the exam and i fail to retake the exam.

Prof said: U need to repeat 3rd year. HUH????i cry and cry and cry with epiphora.
Prof said: No use to cry, go and find politician, ask for a recommendation letter.

Suddenly, i woke up from sleep. Ohhh, luckily it was juz a dream. I saw the clock and it was 5am in the morning. So, I continue to sleep.

THe funny thing is, the previous dream continue. This had nvr happened b4. Usually when i dream of a date with a pretty girl, it'll stop when i woke up. No matter how hard i try 2 dream also cannot have the same dream.

I was lining up in front of a politician's house. Lining up means so many people actually miss the exam. Cos the exam was held without any early notice.

THen all of a sudden, a bright light shine at me...it was so bright.i open my eyes, and it was 7am ady. Time to go for lecture.

What a funny and scary series of dream.

P/S: next time if my children were asked to write an essay on "nightmare",i'll show them this post.keke...

ENT posting

2009-05-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

22 May- SUnny. Sorry for not updating my blog for so long. Its all because of this short and packed 3 weeks ENT- easy no tension posting. ENT has a very-hard-to-pronounce name called Otorhinolarygology. It took half of my posting to remember and pronounce it properly. Thanks to my poor english command and slow learning skills.

8am to 5pm is quite a rountine in this posting. I really miss my third year where i can go back at 12pm and study in the room. THe first week was all lectures week from 8-5pm and it actually cover the whole syllabus in a week. As a slow learner, im still in deep holiday mood. So, first week was obviously ruined. Trying to catch up in second week was in vain as my holiday mood extended. Finnally, come to third week, thinking of work really hard, all prof and registrar involved in their master exam---all clinics closed. Clinic is our main source of patients. So, far i never see more than 10 patients in ENT ward, meaning like 5-6 patients only.

In short, my ENT posting was really short and i didn't really learn much. It's just like another Elective Posting where most of the time i observe only.

Making Miracles...

2009-04-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

16-April. Sunny. My life goes on with TV and sleep…haha.

“Pengaruh Media Massa terhadap remaja masa kini”

“Mass media Influence on Society”

These are some of the essay question which we usually encounter during our high school life. And, usually we would give like 3 positive effects and 3 negative impacts on society.
Tv is one of the mass media, and usually I would write something like “conveying the wrong info and message” as the negative influence.

Hmmm…after so many years, yesterday only I realized this essay question is actually quite practical. ( i.e. my school life was exam-and-high-marks orientated). It can be seen in Making Miracles.

Making Miracles(Chinese: 奇迹 ) is a Singaporean Chinese Drama which is telecast on 8TV from 5pm-6pm Monday to Thursday. This is an old drama which I missed when it was telecast on Astro AEC. But now it’s on 8TV. In my opinion, it’s overall good for singapore drama, off course you don’t compare it with Dr. HOUSE.

Let see this picture.

If you are observant enough, Fann Wong the well-known actress is using the stethoscope inappropriately^^. (Though it’s covered by her silky hair, the metal tube is facing backward.)

Let me be the model today.haha…

Firstly, the round black cushion on the tip of the metal tube must be pointing forward.

Then slowly, put it onto your ears.(aiz..bad posture--a bit kyphosis)

ok tis picture look better. (see, the metal tube is pointing forward and it fit into my ears)

haiz...growing fatter evryday wit mom's cookings. upper limbs look professional, im actually wearing short pants for lower limbs.haha.

thx my photographer -kr-

Using this correct way, you can listen all the heart murmurs and lung crepitations clearly. But sorry no guarantee…haha.(it also depend on your skillsla.) But if u use Fann Wong's way, i guarantee u may not hear anything at all.hehehe...

p/s: tis post have no intention to criticize any party and i still like Fann Wong. only v need2 practise correct medicine. haha..

e-News

2009-04-13T19:17:00.000-07:00

14-April. Rainy. It has been half a month since i last written a blog. THe elective posting ended last week and i guess my real holidays started together with easter sunday. Real holidays= eat+watch tv+long nap+FB-ing+8-hour sleep. haha...it's quite routine and i like it though it's kinda boring.

Watching E-news on TV and i hav found tis interesting notice. I think the producer of this programme is so considerate. For your info, flashing lights can really trigger epilepsy or fits. the definition for epilepsy is vry long.haha.google it if u wanna know.

BUt, in short, have u ever seen ur friend or someone in TV?? who suddenly collapse,have all his muscle contracting, and someone behind shouting "DON'T LET HIM BITE HIS TONGUE!!!! " THen, evry1 trying hard to stuff something like towels into his mouth. In the end, he died of suffocation.haha. it's a joke and it's the wrong way of managing a patient with epilepsy.

okok,come back to this picture. Some might say this notice is a good warning. But, tell me, which TV programme does not contain flashing images????

THerefore, it's quite in vain to have tis notice. In fact, the Tv set itself shall come with a background screen like tis:

"THIS TV CONTAIN BRIEF SCENES OF

FLASHING IMAGES WHICH MAY BE HARMFUL TO VIEWERS

WITH PHOTOSENSITIVE EPILEPSY"

E(= EPILEPSY) NEWS

you are special

2009-03-25T05:52:00.000-07:00

25-March. After one and a half weeks in physiotherapy in sibu hospital, today i come to Agape Centre. THis is a NGO centre for special child or children with special need (to be more direct, it's for children with cerebral palsy, down syndrome,autism,post JE,etc) . However, physiotherapy and paediatric clinic (for special child) were under government.

Since i'm not so familiar with the location, so i went there early 7.30am. Like usual, the main entrance is closed. I saw two patients waiting outside the main entrance, they are still kids, so i didnt ask them where is the physio unit. After a while, a car passed by and i saw a community nurse in the car smiling at me. The car drove to the side entrance. hmmm...I walked to the side door, it's closed and the nurse disappear. sounds like horror movie???no lerr, the main point is not here la. ok, continue...

THen when i walk back to the main entrance, i saw a crowd of "special" children walking down from a van. You can easily notice their differences from normal kids (e.g. special walking gait, mongolian face, jerky and explosive speech, and they are always happy with smiley faces.)

Ok, now i need to find a person in charge. Im quite sure that a group of children like this must be lead by a teacher. Scanning through the crowd, I saw a mature and quiet woman standing out of the crowd. I approached her...

When i showed her the letter, she was so scared (as if im a monster) and waved to me and said "NOOOO!!!". Haha...i know i approached the wrong person liao---she is one of them. THen, a guy approached me on his own. He also looked maturela but with a Down's face. He asked: "Good?"

"Good, nice to meet u" i replied. He stared at my letter as if wanting me to show him. Then, he shouted : "SEVENTEEN!!!" while pointing at the date of the letter.( Monologue: wat's wrong with writing the letter on 17 march 2009.)hahaha...

I replied with tender loving care: "yeah, i know, today is 25th, and that's the date the letter written."

I thought i can ask him what is him doing here. If he said physio, then im waiting at the rright entrance ady. Who knows he answered: " MOKMOK, earn RM200"

Ohmy, what's that?? Nevermind, i waited till 8am when the main entrance finally opened and i got my way to the physio unit for this special child.

During the physio session, a patient with cerebral palsy cried and screamed so loudly when the physiotherapist stretched her lower limb. Who knows, another special child burst in and said : "Haiya, this baby screamed so loud, my eyes also deaf liao!!!" (Don;t laugh!!)

haha, this is what i called special child.

Physiotherapy (Day2-5)

2009-03-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

21March,Sunny. Luckily government department doesn't work on saturday and i can at least have two days off. However, this morning i woke up at 6am and hardly fall asleep again.haiz...maybe my biological clock is used to waking up at 6 and go to work at 7.

For the past few days i was too tired, once i got back i just doze off, and no time for blogs.

Day2, I was asked to follow two physiotherapist in electrotherapy unit. Basically, this unit deal with patients with mainly back pain and some shoulder pain. The main treatment here is pain relief. THey have all sorts of gadgets powered by electricity such as Trancutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) and Short Wave something(sorry i 4got the name). But, basically they try to use electric to stimulate and massage the muscles. And i was told that they have a special term for massage,haha, its STM (soft tissue manipulation). They also apply hot pads on patients' back. The idea for hot pads originates from the caves man where they uses warm rock to relieve pain. For day 2, there was no PPD stuff learned. The only thing i realised is that it was not bahasa iban that the patient spoke (as i mentioned in my previous post), it is bahasa sarawak.

As i was brought up in a chinese family and pure chinese school, i was not exposed to bahasa sarawak. ok, lets show u an example:

"sik, tuk aku punya bah"

"sik" means "no" .instead of "lah", bahasa sarawak uses "bah". "tuk' is "itu"...haha,i just smile and node my head when i don't know.

For bahasa Iban, if you want to say you dunno Bahasa Iban you say: " Aku nak numu cakup iban"

Day 3, it's a coincident that they have their annual back care programme when i'm having my attachment here. THerefore i help them to move all their machines to make space for the mattress used for this programme. Okay, i call this volunteer work and it meets my one of my objectives for elective.haha... THis programme involved 27 participants from diferrent departments. Main objective is to educate them some basic exercises for back care. In the afternoon, i was back in the gym for some neuro patient. I saw two patients with cerebellar ataxia, intention tremors and past pointing. Wow, i have never seen this before. THey have difficulty in controlling their gaits. Besides, they can hardly stand up. their body and their head are shaking like those youngster who had taken ecstasy pills.

Slowly, she tried to stand up by controling all her muscles voluntarily. I guess, within less than a second a normal person can stand up involuntarily. But for them, they took few minutes and with great effort. THen, when the physiothrapist said:" awak ini goyang macam orang makan pill". Once she laughed, she forgot about the voluntary control of her muscle, she fell on the bed on the next second. Oh my, PPD stuff came in again. I really felt empathy for her. Because she is around the age of thirty plus with two children with the age of eight and twelve. With patience, the physiotherapist taught her how to walk balancely.

Day 4, today is more interesting as i get to go to othorpedic ward. To compare with HUKm, the male othor ward in cbu is kinda run down. The worst thing is that it's not air-conditioned. We saw few patient and the one that gave the deepest impression is an uncle with one amputated leg as a complication of uncontrolled diabetes mellitus. He is going to retired this coming June. He said his life totally changes in these two months when he was admitted to ICU for two weeks. THe doctor amputated his leg and he was so angry as indicated by his "CELAKa" when he spoke to me. He said he had juzt bought a new car and thought he could drive it after retired, but now...only one leg left. I think there was some miscommunication between the doctors and him. From the dialogue, he blame the doctors for doing all these to him.haiz....sometime the doctors are trying to help the patient but....

THen, i was brought to SCN (special care nursery). This is an unit for premature baby. there were ten ventilators in this unit. Physiotherapist play their role to do some chest physiotherapy. THis include loosening the sputum for better and easier suction and drainage of secretion for the intubated babies. It makes me remember the PPD movie which i forgot the title ady.

Day 5, Friday is more relaxing for government servants. Haha. We have longer lunch break ( 1145am-215pm). It started off with a visit to ICU. I followed Miss Connie who i think she is just a few years older than me. But definitely she is more than few inches taller than me. I think she look like one of our coursemate. We talk about the organization chart in their department. Most of them were trained under a college somewhere near HKL. All of them were within the age of 25-30 as before this very few people took this course. And they rotate their role in different wards every three months.

THe Icu was quite packed and it reminds me of the labour room in HUKM. THe nurses in ICu always prepare all the machines before the patient came in. THis is just like in the labour room where we prepare the CTG, BP monitoring set and stuffs. THey prepare the ventilators, cardiac monitoring system...and it's vry annoying to hear the beeping of each machines (de..de...du..)

Actually, i wanted to take some photos but i was told that i was not allowed to take photos without Director's permission. So, paiseh, cant show you all lo.

Next week, i will go to medical ward to meet some UMS medical students there. Then, surgical ward, and agape centre. I hope this post would be useful for some spm or stpm school leavers who is interested in physiotherapy.

Elective Posting (Day1)

2009-03-16T04:01:00.000-07:00

16-March.Dunno the weather cos i work from 8am-5pm non-stop. phewww....

THe day start off with a breakfast at 7am (wow,so early...). THen, i reached the hospital at 730am. With the help of the security guard, i safely arrive at the physiotherapy unit. 8am, I introduce myself to the head of unit. I was asked to see the Hospital Director first. Outside the Director's office, I saw one guy and four girls that looked as blur as me walking into his office. Hmmm...i approach them and find out that they are medical student from UMS and they are having their elective posting too. same date and duration somemore.haha.

Wow, the physiotherapy unit in cbu wass so so so efficient. I thought i would be like my other colleagues doing very little thing in my elective posting, who knows??? I was given a schedule on what im goin to do everyday and the person in-charge. I need to sign in 8am and sign out 5pm. OMG...

First day, i was asked to follow a physiotherapist on the outpatient unit for stroke patient. the first patient have stroke secondary to pontine haemorrhage. I think he has nystagmus.wow,good finding...then, i help to apply hot pad on a patient with osteoarthritis. I palpated and feel the crepitation on moving her knee joint,she has "knot knee".

In the afternoon, PPD stuffs come in. A patient come in with paraplegia up to T7-T8 level. What is the cause??? It's Tuberculosis (TB). She speak Bahasa Iban. THough Im sarawakian, i was brought up in a chinese school. I really cannot understand bahasa Iban though it sounds like Bahasa Malaysia, but could hardly understand. Communication Barrier...so, if wanna practise in sarawak next time i shall start learning bahasa iban liao.

THis patient come from rural area where she need2 take express (means ship) to come to hospital. THerefore, it's impossible for her to come evryweek. THe physiotherapist is very considerate, he taught the patient for more than 1.5 hours, so that she can come fortnightly.

My mine was bombarded with questions. Why she got tuberculosis??? Why both her legs paralysed?? Why is she on CBD??? WHY????

The answer is "lackof doctors in rural area" . She was not immunised (BCG vaccination programme fail in rural area). She was not treated appropriately. ( one full course of anti-TB drugs was so easily available in the city, but in rural area....haiz...).

Events coming up would be : Backcare programme, homevisits, visit to NGO (Agape centre), Inpatient physiotherapy (ICU, Surgery, Orthopedic, medicine...)

STay tuned.....tired....

Go Go Power Ranger!!!

2009-03-13T22:25:00.000-07:00

14-March. Hooray!!! The results were announced few days ago. Thank God that I still pass the exam. Technically speaking, I’m a 4th year medical student. Haha. But then, I heard that 80++ colleagues fail at least one subject (i.e. one-third students in year three need to repeat posting). I hereby wishes everyone all the best!!!

“Bird nest soups” have been well-known for its medicinal quality for generations in Chinese culture. It actually originates from bird nest of some species of swiftlets, specifically Aerodramus fuciphagus. This is a small bird of swift family that makes nest by using its own saliva instead of twigs, grass and leaves. The saliva will solidify after exposed to air.

People living near the caves started to harvest these bird nests as it promises a high income. However, it was sometime hard and dangerous to climb up the complicated structures in the caves to get these bird nests.

Recently, I got a chance to visit my dad’s friends’ “man-made caves”. It actually looks like a Power Ranger’s Headquarter( I could be vry excited if i'm a small kid). But, I think it worth more than that. Inside, they put on music to attract the swiftlets. Besides, they also install some sort of water spray to maintain the humidity of the internal environment. We were not allowed to enter the HQ as we might frighten the swiftlets sleeping soundly in there. However, the best part is we were given the chance to pick and choose and bring back the bird nest at a very low price.haha…

Power Ranger Head Quarter^^.

5 pieces of plactic looking thingy cost us Rm 100 (Market price: RM 250)

According to the owner, they sell 1kg bird nest at the price of RM5,000. And, on average, they produce more than 8kg per month. WOW!!!

Maybe one day instead of taking care of patients, I can change to take care of birds!!!hehe..

Why Kenny Sia???

2009-03-09T01:13:00.000-07:00

9-March, Cloudy. To write a post everyday is not an easy task. I feel like kinda running out of ideas.haha. But with determination, i decide to read others' blog and learn from them on how to write interesting blogs.

Kenny Sia, a PPS Blog of The Year Award Winner, has really fantastic blog. Under comparison, my blog is lacking colourful and attractive photos. To improve, i definitely need a camera with capable shutter speed and aperture (any1 willing to sponsor?? I'll remember you one if one day i become famous^^). Moreover, my life was dull and boring as compared to his. He went to so many places, while I'm living in a world of my own. He gave a good introduction and have a handsome look in his profile picture. Mine was with a mask looking like a patient with infectious pulmonary tuberculosis(TB). Haha. Actually, it's a tactic learned from not-so-good-looking celebrity. They tend to take photos from certain angle. If this doesn't work, they will wear a gigantic spectacles. For me , I wear maskla .hehe.

Furthermore, he speaks and write Aussie English. I can only "speak the England". I have used this phrase in my previous blogs. It actually mean a person with not so good English. If you haven't ask Jeff what does it mean, let me tell you now.

On an occasion, a tourist came to Malacca, but unfortunately, he lost his way to A-Famosa. THerefore, he politely asked a school girl passing by. " Good morning, may i know where is A-Famosa?"

Looking blur, she replied: "err...arr...i cannot speak the england la."

Instead of "English", she said "England".

Are you laughing?? stop it!!!! To err is human, ok?? But laughing can be good for health also la. hahaahaha.....

okla, i think enough comparison ady. It really shows some rooms for improvements. so, who is interested to sponsor, pls email me ya. hehe. thx.

confused...

2009-03-08T00:19:00.000-08:00

8-MARCH. A rainy day like this would be so nice for me to catch my zzzzz's. However, during holidays, i always lost my mood to do so even with cool weather as i have been sleeping too much. THere is an old saying : you'll only appreciate something that you have just lost it or something that is very hard to achieve. Likewise, during study week, how much i wish i can have a good night sleep or a long and sweet nap. But now,...

As a medical student, sometimes i can be more confused than the patients. Because sometime we were taught differently by different lecturers or not surprisingly the same one. haha. Below were some of the typical examples.

"You are medical student you know??you are different from other student (e.g business, law,education...).We expect you to be better as you are the future doctor. You must be confident with yourself."

On the contrary, "You are nothing. You are just a medical student. YOu will be scolded by people senior than you(e.g houseman,MO,registrar,specialist) until you become a consultant. THat's a vry vry long way to go..."

Sometime we were taught to use medical terms : "To be more professional, you should use medical terms so that evry1 can understand."

Other time :" Don't use medical term, use the words that the patient tell you. DOn't try to change whenevr you like."

Even worse when:" No no no, you are not reporters, I want you to be detective. Don't report evrything to me. Be smart, digest only present to me."

Ok, so we were asked to use medical term and also patient's words but must be careful in order to reach a balance. If you use too much patient's words, you are not professional enough and you act only like a reporters. If you use too much medical terms, you lost the meaning given by the patient, you mislead evry1. very confusing right??

"I give you ten minutes to take the history. you must train yourself to be fast.you dun hav time during emergency." Ok, so to be fast i shall ask close ended question like "Do you have chest pain?" "Does the pain radiates?" " Is the pain burning, pressing, crushing...?"

"No....you shall ask open ended question" Yeah, i know but it's very slow. For example, :"HOw's the pain?"

Wow the answer can be very broad. It's ok if the patient can describe properly but most of them would be "painla" "dunno" "vry painful" they won't say: "doctor it's crushing in nature radiating to the shoulder."

A balance between black and white is gray. But the problem now is we need to achieve a balance between the white and white. sounds hard?? that's MEDICINE.

she is cute,pure and innocent

2009-03-07T04:18:00.000-08:00

7-March, Sunny. Today, I attended the engagement of my cousin. However, my focus was not really on the ceremony as someone cute, pure and innocent had attracted my attention. She was so quiet which most probably indicates a shy girl. Her face is chubby and her face is fair like a baby. I couldn't stop myself fromm looking at her...

I decided to approach her. She is with her mom. So, I need to talk to her mom first so that i won't scare her or in other words give her mom a good impression first. From the dialogue, her mom is quite open minded and not over-protective. Ok, this makes my life much easier. Slowly...I touches her cheek with my gender hand. She turn her head slightly sideward to show her shyness...Before i draw my head closer to her...

"I think it's time for some milk, Koh Ging can you help me to feed her??" said her mom. "Sure," I replied.

What were you thinking??? Yeah she is a cute, pure and innocent baby with chubby little face. Haha. Baby is hard to build rapport with. So, in order to do better in my coming paediatric posting, I shall get used to communicating with BABIES.

How i wish i am a baby. Because you don't need to think so much. If you like something, you smile, then compliments will be given to you. WHen you are hungry,sleepy, sick, you just cry. Life is so so so easy to be a baby...

Exam!!!!

2009-03-05T23:53:00.000-08:00

6-March, Cloudy. When a person is too free like me, I tend to think back something happen in the past. It has been so fast that I'm now a fourth year medical student if I pass my exam. Passing exam has been so difficult for medical students (sorry, if u don’t think so). What I mean is that the probability is there and you can’t really control the exam and its result. This is because anything can happen in the exam. You might get a malignant examiner or a difficult patient. When students from other courses are aiming for A’s (which is my target in my secondary school), we indeed are struggling hard to aim for a pass.

Let me tell you what is so hard about medicine in UKM. Our exam under this new curriculum and ISO9001 is divided into three components: Continuous assessment, Paper, and OSCE.

Continuous assessments include logbook assessment and Long case assessment. Logbook assessment is quite easy as you just need to complete all the procedures and observation that need to be done in the wards and attend all the teaching given by your supervisors, then you can get quite a good marks. Long case had been a bit hard for some of us. Long case includes clerking a patient in front of an examiner, present the history and do the physical examination on the spot. For internal medicine, the scope is too wide. You never know what case you will get (i.e. neuro, haemato, cardio, respi, git, renal, endo…) Then, some examiner will continue with investigations. However, for third year they don’t expect much management.

Then, we talk about paper. It consists of One Best Answer (OBA) and Key Features Question (KFQ). This is the only component which is under control.

The third component would be OSCE---a component with the highest failure rate. I really thank all the lecturers and people involved to set up this component. So much efforts was put in to transfer all the patient temporarily up to 10 th floor for this exam. It involves examining the patient with findings by MO, taking consent from the patient, moving them up, few staff nurses and Pk to follow, sending food to 10^th floor, counting the time, and paying the patient for their cooperation. This exam makes me realize on why a medical school fee is so high for privates.

Why the failure rate is so high? Because you must examine the patient, present your findings and give the diagnosis in 10 minutes. One of the problems is that the scope is too wide. The question includes more than ten physical examinations. I hardly practice all of them in my eight week posting ( e.g. CVS, Respi, Upper limb, Lower limb, Cranial nerves, GIT, Cushing’s, Parkinson, Rheumato, Scleroderma,….) Some question can be tricky, “please look and proceed”. For this question, you don’t even know what system you are examining. The other problem is due to lack of practice. We can hardly remember clearly all the steps of examination.

To make the exam harder, you must pass all three components in order to pass.

There is no such thing as you are save because you do very well in continuous assessments and paper, so you decide to ignore OSCE.

In other word, you may fail even you get A for this subject but you fail one of the component.

Through this post, I hope some of our juniors can get a rough idea on third year’s exam (though none of you know my blog, haha).

"HEY IT'S HOLIDAY, why still talk about EXAM stuff???

sorry, this is [Post-exam withdrawal syndrome] and i still dream about exam last night.haha.

strangers

2009-03-05T18:08:00.000-08:00

5-March,Sunny. Like usual, the second day bac home means a kampua for breakfast with my family. For the best kampua in the town, we went to the kopitiam near Technique Tuition School (sorry i don't know the name, but evry1 in cbu know the kopitiam 1).

Once i entered, I can smell the aroma.hmmm...it's a long lost smell. Walking in the crowded kopitiam, I saw a girl sitting quietly and elegantly at a corner. She look like my form 3 classmate. I dont dare to greet because Im afraid she couldnt recognise me.MOreover, I heard she was studying in Newcastle, and now it's not a time for holidays.haha.

THen, at night, I send a msg to her thru email. Surprisingly, she also noted my presence and she didn't greet because she allso scare she got the wrong person.

Therefore, next time i shall greet evry1 along the street.haha.Bcos my face is so unique and people can recognise me so easily.

taxi drivers

2009-03-03T18:39:00.000-08:00

4-March, SUNNY. Remember two weeks ago, I was still struggling hard to study and revise for my exam. It seems to pass with just a blink of eye. However, this time was much more torturing as I caught flu since the start of the study week. Instead of spending sleepless nights to burn midnight oil, I slept a lot. Haha. It a blessing in another way provided I can pass the exam ( i.e. results will be out probably next week).

This morning I took a taxi to the KL Central from hukm. On my way to the taxi station I saw a taxi crawling beside me. Obviously, he was inviting me to take his taxi. But I saw a benign looking staff-nurse who reached the taxi station before me. So, I use my body language to tell him that he shall take the cute little staff nurse first. I was so happy that I did something not “kia su” and something that help people up.

Then, I took the second taxi. The taxi driver remains silent since I entered the car. Hmmmm… I thought he shall be a good driver.

This is because most taxi driver will ask : “Balik Kampung?” (as I brought a huge luggage) then they will continue by asking their favorites : “Kampung mana?” As I had never lied since I was born, I’ll say: “Sarawak”. Then, they will bring you for a tour in KL before you reach your destination. Their intention is good as they are actually promoting tourism.

This taxi driver had disappointed me. He took me beating around HUkm before entering the correct route. Oh, come on, I’m very familiar with this area ok. Instead of the usual price Rm 8, the fee is Rm 12. Friend, you are really wasting your time, energy and petroleum only. I have nothing to loose la, as four ringgit is just equal to a non-appetizing meal in Wahid which I would rather not eat. haha.

Okla, I won’t blame that taxi driver also la. Cos if evry one is so good, then we dont need police. Then, thousands of police will loose their jobs. Who will feed their families?

Preface

2009-03-02T03:50:00.000-08:00

Due to the decrease in popularity of friendster and deterioration of it's service, I have decided to boycott my friendster's blog and start a brand new one under the title " THE BENIGN MALIGNANT MAN".

Thanks to Dekan Lee for giving me this title. It actually means a friendly man that was covered by malignant looking skin. Whether it reflects my personality, it's for you to find out through all my posts.

As this is preface, it will be a bit formal. However, please be prepared for some unintentional critiques and comments and some may sounds like as if You are involved. But, don't worry, because i like to dream (day or night) and i like to criticize those people that appear in my dream. THerefore, shall there be any sarcastic criticism, it's definitely not you. On the other hand, if it's about praise and compliments, then definitely, im talking about you.haha...

Moreover, this blog will be written in broken english. Sorry for those who "speak the ENgland"(ask jeffrey to explain this to you^^) and those who would prefer some English literature.

Lastly, I hope everyone will kindly leave your comments, so that further improvements can be done. THank you very much for your supports.